Working Through My Stress

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giving-up-my-homeDear Readers,

I need a friend today and hope you all can help.  Many of you know that my husband and I sold our house of 16 years.  And many of you also know that for 6 months, I’ve been putting many hours of sweat equity into making it perfect. Even in today’s economy, we were lucky enough to get almost full asking price within 48 hours.  I felt so fortunate and grateful.

I even met the buyer yesterday when he and a contractor came over to measure our deck.  We had a nice and friendly conversation, and I was genuinely happy for his family to move in. I love this house, and want to pass it on to someone who’ll love it like we did.

It has a large deck (40 feet) that has held up many party goers. It is in sturdy shape but is in need of a fresh coat of paint. But after working my butt off inside the house with my fix-it-up projects, I was just too worn out to refinish the deck. Besides, I just did it last summer. It was added to my to-do list.

Today I didn’t feel so lucky; today I got the buyer’s requests after the house inspection.  Basically, included in a 4 page list of “wants” like a new hot water heater (ours is only 8 years old), regrading the land (what???), a new furnace, refinishing the hardwood floors (we just did that last month) and fixing everything from a toilet handle that wobbles to wanting fire doors installed, they want us to pay $26K, yes, that’s $26,000, for them to rip out our deck and replace it with a new Trex deck.  They wish! Are they mental?

My trust in humanity has been crushed. How can people could look you in the eye, smile, knowing they are about to stab you in the back?  I feel used and abused. For today, it has deflated my usually positive feeling that people are innately good.  This is just greedy and selfish. And stupid me, here I was worried about whether I should leave them a decorative hook that is in my bathroom because I thought they might like it.  I have been trying hard all day to rise above it all.

We won’t pay it, and maybe they know that; we couldn’t even if we wanted to. We’ll compromise on a few things. But this experience lessened my opinion of them as fine people. I have lost respect for them.  And when you lose respect, it’s hard to feel anything else positive about them.

We’ll make our counteroffer tomorrow…I’ll let you know what happens. My wise “adopted mom” said it best, “If it’s meant to be, then it’s meant to be.” Thanks for letting me rant.  I needed it.

Carol #strivetosimplify


  1. Thanks Kelley, you’re so right. It was a their business vs. my emotional reaction. My hubby and I are now in our smaller, happy little home and have put that behind me. I drive by once in a while and hope they’re as happy as we were, but surprisingly, I don’t miss it as much as I thought I would. Thanks for writing.

  2. Carol, DH and I have bought and sold a number of houses in our time. Try to remember that this is business–at least to the buyer. As sellers we can be emotional–if our home is lovely to us, how can someone ELSE come in and see $26K of work to be done?! It feels like they’re insulting our standard of living, our preferences, our taste. But they really aren’t. It’s the buyer’s goal to get as much “house” for the $$ as he can. A $26K list is excessive, IMHO, but maybe another seller would do it, so maybe seller feels he’d be silly not to ask. Do the things (if any) that seem reasonable to u and don’t worry about the rest. If this buyer moves on, another will be along if ur house is competitively priced.

  3. Pingback: How to Be a Lucky Person |

  4. Thank you, Sally. It’s been a roller coaster ride for sure! I’ll let you know next week what happens.

  5. oh Carol, sounds like a positive departure will turn into a very unsatisfying one, or maybe You’ll end up selling to the “right people” later on. I feel for You.


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